In 1989 Steven Covey wrote and published “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” which is a self-help manual of 7 simple, yet powerful steps for personal improvement. Millions have used these timeless principles to improve themselves for the better. This article will explore how someone who has been diagnosed with adult ADHD/ADD (or knows someone who has been diagnosed) can begin to use these habits to enhance their adult ADHD treatment and journey to wellness. This exercise is not a replacement for reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” nor is it a replacement for professional adult ADHD treatment, but a supplementary exercise to propel a “good” treatment into a highly effective adult ADHD treatment.
Steven Covey on his personal website shares that the first habit is “Be Proactive.” What does it mean to “Be Proactive”?
Steven Covey writes:
“Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can’t mega888 download keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are “response-able.” They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn’t, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power-you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language-I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language-I can’t, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do-they have no choice.”
First, the adult with ADHD is encouraged to take responsibility for his/her life and adult ADHD treatment. This should not be thought of as a punishment or negative judgment upon the individual, because a common symptom of adults with ADHD is negative self-esteem. The adult with ADHD more than likely already feels ashamed of his/her behavior so it must be made perfectly clear that these statements are taken as positive and uplifting reinforcement and not another lecture of words to tear down. It is hoped that this positive encouragement reverberate with such intensity that that it will be able to keep internal and external negative reinforcement at bay.
It is easy to blame others for our shortcomings. Some of this blame is actually true, however adults with ADHD need to come to grips with this condition and say to themselves, “This is the way I am but I am going to have to deal with it regardless of where it came from”. Life is not fair but we must continue to move on to improve in life. Proactive ADHD people can be “response-able.” Adults with ADHD do have the freedom to choose their response even in the midst of negative surroundings. They may say to themselves, “I cannot change – it’s so hard. I am not responsible for the mess I am in and I am not the one responsible for getting me out..”
Second, adults with ADHD are encouraged to discover what they can control and what they have little or no control over. People can (generally) control the outcome of their health, behavior, body language, conversation, thoughts, children, etc. People have very little or no control over other people’s beliefs, the weather, the traffic, other people’s attitudes, other people’s ethics, other people’s emotions, other people’s parenting, and other people’s vote, etc. It is true that we may be concerned about traffic, weather, politics, attitudes, feelings, social condition, terrorism, etc, and we may have a little influence on these things, but not in a major or significant way.